June 3

Is Michael really ready?

I have lived alone for the last 12 years so it’s not unreasonable for me to be used to doing thing my (the bachelor) way. Well, Revel realized this and sent me an email to help me prepare for this whole “married” thing. Apparently there are classes for soon-to-be husbands. I’m hoping there are some introductory classes as these seem to be a little more advanced that I’m ready for. 🙂

Summer Classes for Men
@ the
ADULT LEARNING CENTER


NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays–Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll–Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 4
Dinner Dishes–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 5
Loss Of Identity–Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 6
Learning How To Find Things–Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 7
Health Watch–Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 8
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost–Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 9
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 10
Learning to Live–Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 11
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 12
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 13
The Stove/Oven–What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.



Copyright © 2014. All rights reserved.

Posted June 3, 2008 by Michael in category "General

1 COMMENTS :

  1. By laura on

    hmm, i think jeff needs to take several of these!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *